Should I Help?

At a playground, I watched as a father lifted his two-year-old onto an elevated walkway. He and I were the only two fathers there, and I took it on myself to advise him. “You might not want to do that,” I said. “It’s a little high for him.”

“Oh, he’ll be OK,” said the other Dad. “He’s a tough little kid.” The child ran happily along the walkway, until he found a series of climbing bars going down and grabbed on one to climb.

Next thing we knew he was screaming. The bars were too far apart for him to reach the next one with his feet, and he hung there crying, feet thrashing the air. Unfortunately, before his Dad got to him, he fell and hurt his ankle. Dad picked him up and carried him to the car, saying something about ‘the City should be sued for maintaining this hazard.’

Really? The first rule mothers taught me about playgrounds is, ‘Don’t put your kid up anyplace he can’t reach himself.’ Playgrounds are designed so children can get to things they can handle. If they want to go somewhere they can’t get on their own, no matter how much they beg you, don’t help them. If you do, don’t complain when they get hurt.

I try to keep the playground rule in mind. We can often do much harm trying to help. Giving and accepting help are great; they’re how life should work, but there are skills and attitudes to learn and things to ask before helping…